Am I Supposed To Be This Sore?

What sadistic psycho coined the phrase “no pain, no gain”?  The only thing most people are likely to gain is more weight while lying around while trying to heal after doing insane workouts!

I decided to start riding a bike in addition to the rest of my fitness endeavours.  You see, I thought that I would get that enjoyable feeling that I had riding bikes when I was a kid.  I’m not a kid!  I used to ride my bike 17 miles each way to fish and set out crab pots and feel no pain later.  I rode my bike 17 feet today and caught a charlie horse, had an asthma attack, had a migrain, my blood sugar went low, I got night sweats, saw the devil…Oh!  You get the point.  Now I’m so sore I’m debating whether or not I want to go take a shower or start telling people I’m a conservationist, and I don’t believe in deodorant.

Let me rein it back in a bit.  I can’t think of too many things more demoralizing than pain.  Yet, especially those that have personal trainers, there’s always someone telling you to persevere (these are normally people who are in great shape and thereby immune to the pain, or those that don’t work out at all but feel compelled to live vicariously through you).  So why work out so hard if it’s going to hurt so bad?  The short answer.  It’s good for you.  No, I haven’t joined the psychotic group and I know that this isn’t what you wanted to hear, but it is good for you.

If you’ve lead the sedentary life for a while and you decide that you want to get healthy, stop for a second and think about all of the atrophy (shrinkage) your muscles have experienced since the last time you worked out.  You need to understand that 1) your building, or rebuilding muscle which tears open with each exercise in order to grow, and 2) Your joints are MAD at you!

So what’s the solution?  There are several possible solutions to at least help you recover faster.  Listen, I would love to be able to tell you that there’s a way you could ner be sore.  If that were the case, you would have to pay me a LOOOOOOOTTTTTT!!!!! to find out the secret.  But in an effort to reduce the time you’re sore, I offer this.  First start every workout by warming up.  This can be a brisk walk, jumping rope, riding a (gulp) bike, whatever you need to do to get your heart pumping faster.  The purpose of this is that if you aren’t warmed up you risk the chance of injury.  To put thing into perspective, think about iron.  If you beat on a cast iron skillet when its cold, it will break, I’ve tried it, it really does.  However, if you heat this iron, you can stretch it for a mile before it breaks!  Think of the iron as your muscles.

After warming up, stretch yor muscles.  This allows blood and all of it’s healing nutrients into your muscles.  This will also make the muscle feel full quicker, lactic acid will build up, you’ll fatigue faster, just think of the less is more theory.  You will have to do less, yet you’ll get more results, really.

Drink a protien shake at least once a day. Not only will it help with building up your muscles,  protein will increase the healing process. The speed at which the muscles recover from damage, is directly related to how much protein is available to them.  If you don’t want to do the shake thing, eat foods high in protien such as chicken breast, salmon, red meat.   What about vegans?  Where do they get their protein?  Simple. The plant-based diet includes a wide variety of whole foods consisting of beans, whole-grains, fruits, vegetables, nuts, and seeds, along with products made from these natural foods, such as tofu, tempeh, and meat analogs.  So everyone can join in the protein party.

Last.  Get rest.  Not only a good nights sleep, rest your muscles.  This part is for those of you who go to the gym 7 days a week and work nothing but your arms.  STOP IT!  Whenever you lift weights or expose your muscles to a high level of exertion, strength is diminished for at least 1 to 3 days after the damage has occurred. This loss of strength, which may take 7-14 days to recover, is most likely due to several factors including the disruption of muscle calcium balance and energy production, the poor recovery of muscle energy during this period, and the decrease in muscle protein content. In addition, this loss of strength can cause you to feel like a 90-lb weakling for several days after exercise. Stay away from the beach for 7-14 days.  More importantly, don’t work the same muscle group for 72-96 hours after a workout! (Larger muscles such as legs may need a week to recover.)

Bottom line is this, you will be sore there is no way around it (unless of course you avoid exercising).  You will however get used to it after a while and if you are active enough, you won’t get sore…exercising or sitting in that chair.  Now get up and go be active

Habits and how to use them

I got a good workout in today (after skipping a couple of days) and wondered to myself “why don’t I always come to the gym to get this great feeling?”  Well, in all honesty, it sometimes feels just as good to lay on the couch devouring a double cheeseburger, a bag of chips and a liter of soda, thinking about working out.  As a matter of fact, I’m already predisposed to taking the path of the couch so it comes easier.  That brings us to today’s topic, habits.

We all have habits, some good, some bad, some feel really good even if they are bad.  Many of us (me) feel that we aren’t motivated enough to go to the gym and work out on a regular basis, but nothing could be further from the truth.  I have plenty of motivation.  Motivation is coming out of my ears I’m so motivated.  I’m just motivated to do other things like taking naps, and  cooking gourmet meals and sampling the entire time.   People do the things they are used to.  When I was in the Army I ran at least five miles everyday and lifted weights three times per week.  I kept that up for four years after I got out  that was my habit.  Then I discovered culinary school, and one of the most important lessons there (at least to me) was that you should taste everything before you serve it to make sure that the food is exquisite.  Well I’ve kept that habit for a good number of years now too (and yes, it is necessary to make sure that quarter pound Sabrett hot dog is exquisite before serving them to anyone else, my reputation as a good cook won’t be tarnished due to lack of commitment!).  But I digress.  If working out becomes a habit of mine again, jumping up and going to the gym won’t phase me in the least, as it stands right now, Karen has to drag me out of the house by my foot as a means of motivation.

So how do we change our habits?  In a word, slowly.  The reason why so many people fail to honor their New Years resolutions to get in shape, is that they try to change every one of their habits at once.  This is the recipe for failure since the human mind can only adapt to changing one, maybe two habits at a time and to form a new habit, it takes at least 21 days of continually practicing that habit.

So if I wake up at 10a.m. everyday, don’t exercise, don’t eat well, drink Captain Morgan’s Spiced Rumâ„¢ (a delightful drink if I may say so myself) all night, avoid stairs, vegetables, sunlight, outdoor activity, and anything that might be remotely healthy, it might be a stretch for me to say on December 31 that starting tomorrow I will: Get up at 6am go for a jog, come back and shower then fix myself a bran muffin and a bowl of fresh apricots, then I will spend the rest of my day looking for every opportunity to exert myself while drinking lots of water, and ensuring that I get to bed at 10pm so that I can do it all again the next day!  That little pipe dream ends the first time I hit the snooze button at 6 the first day.

Let’s explore something a little more realistic for those of you that may really want to start forming some good healthy habits.  The biggest problem for most people when it comes to working out is finding the time.  It amazes me that I can always find time to cook and eat a steak, ANYTIME!  But when it comes to working out, I just can’t seem to squeeze that in.  Here’s the plan, if you have a gym membership, set a time and three days a week where you will go to the gym for an hour.  Mark it on your calender, make it a regular appointment.  Now what you do once your there is up to you, the main thing is getting there.  Knowing that you have to stay there for an hour, you may as well do something: walk on the treadmill, stretch, jumping jacks, whatever, but you may not leave for one hour! (I will pop out of the bushes and chase you back inside, ask Rhonda from Des Moines, she thought since I live in Florida I wouldn’t catch her, I am EVERYWHERE people and I will not let you cheat me out of my time! )

If you aren’t a gym member, go to a park nearby.  Same rules apply, same time three times a week for an hour.  If you decide to take a basketball or walking shoes with you, great, but no sitting down for an hour.

Follow this pattern for at least on month without fail before trying to add anything else to the new you.  You may find that your diet changes naturally without you making some drastic effort.  You may find that you drop some of your bad habits just by picking up one new one.  Just don’t try to change everything at once, Rome wasn’t built in a day and the new you won’t be either

If you focus on changing one habit per month, whatever resolution you made for New Years will be surpassed and you won’t remember putting much effort towards any of it.  Start slow, ease into it and you’ll achieve success like you won’t believe.  Not go get active.

Isn’t There A Pill For That?

I hate to be the one complaining, but I don’t see the whole point in this getting up early and killing myself for an hour just to get into shape!  I mean if I had Erectile Dysfunction, nobody would say “run up steps until your heart pounds out of your chest”, they would just refer me to any one of the commercials with the guy wearing the acid trip smile and the woman who has the “oh s**t, here he comes again” look!  When a woman gets cramps, they have the stuff they peddle on TV where, even though her insides are about to jump out and she might at any moment grab and ax and get some “justice”, a tiny little pill keeps the world calm and happy.  But let me get a little pudgy and we have to break out all kinds of medieval torture devices to whip my fat butt in shape!

Why is there no pill for that?  I mean a real one that works, that can be doled out to everyone and would instantly get them into shape.  Of course you would have the 3 to 7 percent of the people who wouldn’t take it because they are happy being the way they are (I’m talking about the man at the beach wearing the size 54 Speedo with “JUICY” written across the butt, or the extra large woman in the grocery store wearing the spandex suit that can’t be stretched another centimeter, with high heels and lots of fake jewelry).  There would also be those that would some how be allergic to it.  But for the rest of us that want to be in shape tomorrow without all the strenuous activity today, there should be a magic pill!

I’ve done some research into this and came up with an answer as to why there isn’t such a pill.  Economics.  Think about it for a second, how many people would be out of work if there was such a pill?  Let’s look at it from the top down.  Every magazine would go under immediately because there would be no advertising.  If we all looked like the people in the ads, we wouldn’t need the crap they’re peddling to make us feel better about ourselves.  Hollywood would crumble because let’s face it, the majority of the actors and actresses we love really aren’t that good (I don’t mean you Salma baby, you are a true thespian treasure!). What about the guy that looks at me disapprovingly when I try to call it a day after a 10 minute workout?  Would the gym keep him on staff anymore?  I am sick of him holding me hostage in there until I do a proper workout,  YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!  and what about the kid who goes around putting the weights away for the idiot who isn’t aware of proper gym etiquette? (To said idiot, please wipe your sweat off of equipment when you’re through using it, I almost broke my ass bone sliding off of the oil slick you left on the weight bench.)

Bottom line is this, we’re not just helping yourself by working out, we’re keeping economies afloat with our never ending struggle to get and stay fit.  From the eight year old in China sewing my Nike’s together, to the perfect bodies on late night infomercials offering something that’s bound to wind up in a closet somewhere soon, everyone has a stake in the fitness game, so we need to move past the crying and wishing for something that isn’t coming and just exercise and eat right.  Even if there was a real pill to take, I wouldn’t, the world wouldn’t be as fun a place without the challenges, and I can’t bare to see Salma Hayeck unemployed.

OK, I’m done writing, turn off your computer and go do something, we’ve got bodies to build here, let’s build them.

Staying on track to meet your fitness goals

I’m on the path to getting back in shape and staring in the face of all of the obstacles to doing so. Everyone that starts a workout regimen begins with all of the energy and motivation in the world. Keeping it is the problem!
Like most people I began with an ambitious plan, working out at the gym, eating right, getting outdoors and staying active, even exercising during commercial breaks when watching TV! (This can definitely reduce the amount of television one watches.) Now, a few days into it when the soreness kicks in and cravings for a 64 ounce steak settle in, I have to find ways to stay motivated and not give in to temptation (is that the couch calling me?).
I’ve got a few ideas on how to stay on track to meeting my fitness goals, but jsut like anything else with fitness or working out, or dieting, it takes discipline and a huge commitment from me. To motivate myself to begin a fitness program I set some very specific goals for myself. Anyone can do this by asking themselves “what’s important to me?” For some people it’s a certain weight goal, or maybe getting into a certain article of clothing. Some people want to be able to participate in a certain event like a 5K run, or a dance competition. Some people target a body part to work on such as six pack abs or 20 inch arms, while there are some of us who just want to see the tops of our shoes again…while wearing them! Whatever your motivation, make it reasonable, but somewhat out of easy reach so that you have to work hard to achieve it. So, rule one, set a goal.
Next, remove temptations. This is easier said than done, especially for those of us who have momentary lapses in sanity in the grocery store (how did those potato chips get into my cart?) You have to eliminate the urge to cheat on yourself. You can do this by doing things like shopping only the outer ring of the grocery store, everything you love is in the middle aisles laying in wait, ready to carry you 100 miles away from your goal. Stay out of these aisles, your health and your sanity depend on it. If you really need something from the inner aisles, fall down on the floor and when a store associate comes to see if you are okay, tell them that you have a rare condition and that the only thig that can help you is the item in aisle 6! (I’ve only been kick out of and permanently barred from three grocery stores for this act.) Stop sitting down! We all feel the need to leave one room and go sit down in another, Stop it! Stay on your feet, stay active. You’re not tired so stop telling yourself that all the time. When you really are tired, your body will let you know, and then you can rest. Think about your day for a moment. I’ll give you a quick example of my morning: get out of bed, start my coffee, sit and wait for coffee, pour coffee, sit and drink coffee, sit and watch the news, sit and watch ESPN, sit and have breakfast, get ready to go to the gym, sit and think about my workout, sit and “mentally prepare” myself for said workout, do you see the trend here? I take so many breaks per day it’s amazing that my body has the opportunity to burn a calorie! If I focus on moving around more and resting less, my metabolism will increase, and after a while I will find myself having more energy. Rule two, stay active.
I’ll give you one more then wrap this article up. Stop whining and complete your workouts. This is something I have to say to myself all the time and believe it or not, it works. Listen, you may be sore, you may be fatigued, you may want to sit in a dark room with a tub of ice cream and a spoon, but will any of that help? If you’re sore and you decide not to work out, you’ll still be sore, probably even more so because you aren’t stretching out the sore muscles. You may feel fatigue, but you have to realize that it’s just because you’ve been sedentary for a while, fight through it and the rewards will be great (a Ranger school instructor said that, and he was right.). As far as the ice cream goes, refer to rule one.
Meeting your fitness goals requires determination and will power. You can take these steps and others to lighten your load, but it will always be a struggle, if it’s not, look around, you might just be back on the couch. Get out there and be active.

Getting in shape for Summer

OK I’ve taken a lot of time off from the gym and I’ve eaten poorly over the past few months. Now the weather is warming up and I’m concerned about how I’ll look this summer, I have got to lose weight and get in shape, fast!
I’m not typically the New Years Resolution type. You know, the ones that crowd the gym in January and February with their lofty goals and good intentions for rapid weight loss and a healthy diet. That’s not me. But I don’t necessarily stay true to my goals year round either, hence the need for this article.
So, how will I get back into a routine, promote rapid weight loss and maintain discipline after months of doing everything wrong? I’m going to start by putting away the rum that has kept me warm this winter and dusting off my water bottle. When it’s colder outside people tend to drink a lot less water, dehydrating themselves, slowing down their metabolism and forcing the body to retain what it gets. Drinking lots of water will flush out my system, hydrate me, act as an appetite suppressor, and increase my metabolism. This step alone will help me shed a few pounds over the next couple of weeks.
The next step is to make myself more active. Believe me, if I could lose this gut and a lot of weight just laying around watching TV I would. But wait, I might just be able to do that! Not by laying around but watching TV can help. As I watch my shows I will sit and enjoy the storyline. When a commercial comes on, I will hit the floor. I will alternate between doing:
-Push ups
-Crunches
-Jumping jacks
-squat thrusts
-Flutter kicks
I’ll post instructions for each for those who aren’t sure how to do them. I advise you to start slow with these exercises, in other words, don’t try to max out on the first commercial break. My advice, do them like this: first commercial break, 10 push ups. Next commercial break, 10 crunches, and so on like that. Remember, this isn’t your only workout, and you’ll find that after a 30 minute show, you’ll be gassed. Of course if you can do more reps during a commercial break feel free to do so, the more the better.
Make sure you keep drinking your water, and get up every commercial break. It requires a great deal of discipline to get this started, but I can assure you that you’ll start seeing major results in a couple of weeks.
My next post will began outlining my gym routine and diet, yeah, I used the D word, but never fear, I love food too much to sit around eating bark and no fun foods. I’ll show you how to get creative and eat well. Until then, get off the couch and live. It’s a beautiful world out there, go be a part of it.

STRAWBERRY SPINACH SALAD

If you are looking for a wonderful twist on a salad, and something better than plain old lettuce, you owe it to yourself to try this strawberry spinach salad that will help you lose weight, but more importantly, it taste great.

2 oz. green onions, sliced
3 oz. fresh salad spinach
3 oz. cucumber, sliced
¾ c. strawberries, quartered
4 oz. chicken breast, cooked and chopped

Dressing:
1 tsp. lemon juice
2 tsp. apple cider vinegar
2 pkgs. sweetener
2 tsp. canola oil
¼ tsp. poppy seeds

Mix together salad ingredients. Mix together dressing and drizzle over salad; toss lightly and serve.